Use Your Tools!

It was a rainy grey afternoon again, summer is right I thought to myself! It was so dark and dreary and supposed to be July. Well, it was July but it was more like October.

There I was not even realising that I had unleashed my ‘inner feline’ and was meowing about all that wasn’t right until a friend brought it to my attention! (Oops, risky, brave friend!)

This is what happens, isn't it? We very often don't realise that we are in a 'mood' and most definitely don't like being told that either!

As a teacher of groups and classes for many a year, this idea of being ‘catty’ came up many times in discussion. I told a group a story about how my mother would always relate someone who was in bad form to a cat. Goodness knows why! Poor cat! So when a family member made complaints they would be called catty and my mother would say “A saucer of milk for that cat”!  The class saw the fun in it and began to use it when others in the class were complaining! And sometimes reminded me that maybe I needed a saucer of milk too!

Then a truth bomb hit me, it dropped right before me. “What are you doing” it said. Giving away your power to situations outside your control! Mmm……Now, now, use your tools! (That is my inner critic voice) Isn't that exactly what you say to others? True. So true. So I pulled out my therapist's toolbox had a search around in it for the best possible tool and started to breathe. Ah… there you are earth, so nice to be back here!

Three deep breaths later I am back in my body, calm and collected. What do you think of the concept of, when you are stressed and giving out about everything your energy leaves your body and floats up above your head? That’s what oriental philosophy thinks anyway and I agree, having had lots of experiences like that!

I always found remembering that I had a tool to use when the situation got stressful, was the most difficult. 

I am a good problem solver though, so I found a technique to remind myself that I have plenty of resources to help me when times get anxious and overwhelming.

I love the ‘Which What’ technique, it helps me to stay in the moment and not be galloping off into the future in my head, or having regrets about the past either! It encourages me to check my thoughts to find out where I am in there!

For example, am I in the past, the future, or the present? It is straightforward, give it a go!

Asking myself ‘which what’, helps me to recognise if my thoughts are in ‘what was’, which is the past, ‘what if’ which is the future, and check myself and come back to the ‘what is’, the present! After all the only power we have is in the present moment.

How is your ability to solve problems? Are you resourceful? Can you come up with a technique that helps you remember that you are very capable of using a tool to help yourself stay in the moment, calm, peaceful, and happy?

A person is only as good as the tools he or she is using, ain't that the truth?